David Dodd Lee
The Wind Tunnel
Where had she hidden the feathers? Where
were her wings? I’d been several years
on the same boat, often less than
a mile from shore, the fishing lines
snapping, the mist like a not quite raging
winter storm, the apple blossoms
falling, frozen. The boat’s path
was like the closing of a circle. It went nowhere—
it was time and space narrowing
into a funnel so that at every point
along the way you were not far from where you
thought you wanted to be. The flowers
could have been her wings. My mother
barely even had shoulders. She had
a voice like a doll’s, a thirty-thousand-two-
hundred-ninety-one-day-old doll abandoned
in a car left for scrap metal. I glimpsed
such a doll; then a March crocus
standing up pale in snow. I held onto
an alternator like it might be another heart.
Dolls have dirty skirts and my mother’s feet
touched the cold floor. She was enfeebled
with tarnish. Once queen of the what-if
flashback, time-traveling for hours to 1940s
St. Louis soda shops, Catholic in a plaid skirt…
Now blossoms blow around like shredded
petticoats, the ashes of Pall Mall’s, some-
thing on the other side of sleep and having
bad dreams. We couldn’t hold onto the rope
any longer and its frayed end came loose
from the world like never needing to answer
for anything again. The ocean smells like
a lack of shame; it smells like the naked
body, acceptance that is so totally complete it’s
like it’s the harbor or cove that birthed you; you’ll
never leave. Her wings might just be the
finishing off of flowers. She’s up there some-
where beyond the airplanes now, escaped through
the crack in the door. Wind blowing out of an empty mirror.
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David Dodd Lee is the author of eleven books of poetry, including The Bay (Broadstone Books), Animalities (Four Way Books, 2014) and Orphan, Indiana (University of Akron Press, 2010), as well as a forthcoming book of dictionary sonnets. His poems most recently have appeared in New Ohio Review, River Styx, Ocean State Review, Hunger Mountain, Poetry Salzburg Pine Hills Review, and Tampa Review. He writes and makes visual art and kayaks in Northern Indiana, where he lives on the St. Joseph River. He is Associate Professor of English at Indiana University South Bend, where he is also Editor-in-Chief of 42 Miles Press, as well as the online literary magazine The Glacier.